She makes me feel brave.

My eldest said the most beautiful thing this morning about her sister. Her only sister. The one that she  constantly fights with. The one that she critiques, pesters, annoys, harasses and pokes at. She looked at me with her azure eyes brimming, and said "it just didn't feel right to go without her". She said "I feel braver when she is there"... The little "annoyance".... The little "irritation" who is "constantly messing with her stuff" was also her morale boost and her emotional support. She was the one her heart longed for, even in anticipation of leaving her behind for a few hours. She was the one she couldn't imagine abandoning.

There are these seemingly mundane parental moments where everything you have been working towards is actualized. Standing there in my kitchen, both of our hair standing on end, the sleep in our eyes, the fuzziness prior to coffee still clouding our minds, this was the first thing on her mind this morning. She literally hopped out of bed to tell me what she had been thinking about all night. In that moment I knew that they were going to take care of each other.

My one friends parents told her and her sisters that they raised them "separate but equal". I am not sure if I fully agree with that statement. I agree that there is a level of separateness and individuality. But through equality the lines of separation are blurred. I remember being thrilled when my sister was a teen and could come to places with me. She was almost 3 years my junior. My brother who is 9 years my junior is as close to me as my sister is. I think if you have separation then there is discord. We never felt that my mom favored anyone. Obviously my baby brother was treated a different way than I was because of our age difference. But my parents allowed us freedom, they trusted us, they respected us as people, they applauded us for our talents and gifts, but they constantly reinforced that we were family. We don't have family members in our family who don't talk to each other. We have a lot of arguments in our family, there is constant chatter, constant disagreements. But there is constant love and constant support.

That is what I have always told my girls. They are each others first best friend.

When they went to daycare for summer camp when my youngest was 2 and my eldest was 6, they held hands through the chain link fence that separated the big kids from the little kids. That always touched my heart. Little Sis needed Big Sis and Big Sis was there for her.

But this weekend, Big Sis is 9 and Little Sis is 5, and Big Sis realized she too needs HER sister. The support doesn't just flow one way. There is a constant symmetry. God doesn't make mistakes on who he makes a family. He makes us for each other.