My brother graduates from flight school on Thursday. So tomorrow I am packing the kids up in the car, saying my prayers that all seven of my animals are alive when I return, and leaving The Husband behind to go and take photos of the ceremony. The girls have little black and white dresses that I am so excited to put them in. I too have a black dress. After the graduation ceremony there is a little ball. So we will see what the Army drums up for us. I imagine American ball means polystyrene plates and plastic forks. We will be in Alabama for two nights then I am going to Panama City Beach alone with the kids. I have to take them to dig in the sand at the beach.
Its just bad timing because Eldest Daughter has JUST started first grade at her new school. We had to move her from the private school to a public school. Actually the move was bitter sweet. The private school was so tiny she had such a small pool of friends to choose from. Shes a lot like me, anxious, a bit over weight, bites all her nails off. Shy. Struggled to make friends. So she finally made one BFF and then we ripped them apart when school ended. Then for the summer she went to a day camp for 9 weeks. They went on three field trips a week, to zoos, museums, parks, etc... On Fridays they had a cultural soiree and ate ethnic foods and they had water slides... so they had a lovely time but she was taken from the bosom of her very small school and thrust into a group with new friends. Then after 9 weeks of that, we let her have four days at home with us, took her to the orthodontist, etc, and we went to a water park (Youngest Daughter is so scared of everything- she hated it but Eldest Daughter loved all the rides).... and then she was sent to school with a whole new group of friends in a whole new building. But there are only 22 in her class. The teacher says its the largest group she has seen. There are three grade one classes... and the school is adorable. I put a lot of photos of it online but I am sure you were busy sewing hopscotch (Beautiful job btw)..... so she has a larger pool of friends to select from and since shes played some sports in the county, shes met a couple of friends she already knew from her sports team, like the coaches daughter is in her grade...
So theres something about being a part of a community, kids networking, etc. When we drove outside of the county to go to school (I had the 80 mile commute) she was far removed from the social networking in the community. So now when we go to fairs, or where ever, it will be within her school and friend group. I know you cant be too obsessed with friends... BUT I mean a good friend can make or break your child. So you want to foster what is important to them. The older she gets, the more she leads me. And the more she rejects us....
So on Friday I dropped her off at school for her first day in first grade with her new teacher. I walked her in with Youngest Daughter (Youngest Daughter was already tearing name badges off tables, trying to sharpen someone elses pencil)... and Eldest Daughter wouldnt hold my hand or walk near me. She said she was holding her bag. So I just took the cue and exited stage right....Then she has this new thing, she wont go anywhere with anyone except me. She says it makes her nervous. I told her shes got to trust her gut instinct and she now uses this as her new get of jail card. You know i was trying to tell her about dangerous situations, feeling scared etc, listen to your intuition....
So Brother was here a couple of weeks ago. He wanted to take her to the mall nearby for some Rainbow Sorbet. They made it almost onto the main road. He had to turn his beautiful shiny black single man no kids to pay for Audi around and bring her back. He said "its okay Eldest Daughter we can go next time"... then my father in law has a gorgeous fully restored 1983 Porsche 911 and he wanted to take her for a ride. He went to get her car seat. She freaked out and said no shes not going with him. No amount of cajoling could get her to go. Then Husband got a $500 gift card from his mom for his birthday last week. So he was just beaming. He said COME Eldest Daughter lets go blow some money!!!! And she point blank refused.
Its just bad timing because Eldest Daughter has JUST started first grade at her new school. We had to move her from the private school to a public school. Actually the move was bitter sweet. The private school was so tiny she had such a small pool of friends to choose from. Shes a lot like me, anxious, a bit over weight, bites all her nails off. Shy. Struggled to make friends. So she finally made one BFF and then we ripped them apart when school ended. Then for the summer she went to a day camp for 9 weeks. They went on three field trips a week, to zoos, museums, parks, etc... On Fridays they had a cultural soiree and ate ethnic foods and they had water slides... so they had a lovely time but she was taken from the bosom of her very small school and thrust into a group with new friends. Then after 9 weeks of that, we let her have four days at home with us, took her to the orthodontist, etc, and we went to a water park (Youngest Daughter is so scared of everything- she hated it but Eldest Daughter loved all the rides).... and then she was sent to school with a whole new group of friends in a whole new building. But there are only 22 in her class. The teacher says its the largest group she has seen. There are three grade one classes... and the school is adorable. I put a lot of photos of it online but I am sure you were busy sewing hopscotch (Beautiful job btw)..... so she has a larger pool of friends to select from and since shes played some sports in the county, shes met a couple of friends she already knew from her sports team, like the coaches daughter is in her grade...
So theres something about being a part of a community, kids networking, etc. When we drove outside of the county to go to school (I had the 80 mile commute) she was far removed from the social networking in the community. So now when we go to fairs, or where ever, it will be within her school and friend group. I know you cant be too obsessed with friends... BUT I mean a good friend can make or break your child. So you want to foster what is important to them. The older she gets, the more she leads me. And the more she rejects us....
So on Friday I dropped her off at school for her first day in first grade with her new teacher. I walked her in with Youngest Daughter (Youngest Daughter was already tearing name badges off tables, trying to sharpen someone elses pencil)... and Eldest Daughter wouldnt hold my hand or walk near me. She said she was holding her bag. So I just took the cue and exited stage right....Then she has this new thing, she wont go anywhere with anyone except me. She says it makes her nervous. I told her shes got to trust her gut instinct and she now uses this as her new get of jail card. You know i was trying to tell her about dangerous situations, feeling scared etc, listen to your intuition....
So Brother was here a couple of weeks ago. He wanted to take her to the mall nearby for some Rainbow Sorbet. They made it almost onto the main road. He had to turn his beautiful shiny black single man no kids to pay for Audi around and bring her back. He said "its okay Eldest Daughter we can go next time"... then my father in law has a gorgeous fully restored 1983 Porsche 911 and he wanted to take her for a ride. He went to get her car seat. She freaked out and said no shes not going with him. No amount of cajoling could get her to go. Then Husband got a $500 gift card from his mom for his birthday last week. So he was just beaming. He said COME Eldest Daughter lets go blow some money!!!! And she point blank refused.
Husband got so upset with her. He even told her he wasnt buying her a present. I mean HE acted like the child. Then this Sunday, Husband wanted to take Eldest Daughter to his friends house. Friend is a single dad and his daughter is the same age as Eldest Daughter.
So she said no Dad, I dont want to go with you. So Husband took this as the BIGGEST rejection. It was almost akin to a girlfriend rejecting him. He blew up like puffer fish and was like "I cant believe you wont go with me, Im your dad, I want to spend time with you, you always used to go places with me, this is BULL SH*T..." I mean the level of his explosion and the venom was totally uncalled for. So then I told him to back off of 'my daughter'.... so then he said youre probably going to reward her for not going with me by taking her to the pool or buying her a toy.
And you know (I know you know) that we're not the favourites because of the toys we buy. Daddy is the fun one. Daddy is the cool guy (who bought a kinect so they can dance around the living room in a group and pop virtual bubbles)... Mommy is the brush your teeth lady, wipe your face, get your butt back in there and use more toilet paper, disgusting, scrub your nails, dont bite your nails, why am I tripping over your shoes, how many times have I told you it is bed time, get out of bed one more time and I will.... YES this is dinner there are starving kids all over the world. I swear to God you put your dinner in the trash and I will just explode. DO NOT FEED IT TO THE DOG. Leave your sister alone. Stop smacking her. Stop biting your sister. Okay the two of you, time out..... !!!!!!!
And you know (I know you know) that we're not the favourites because of the toys we buy. Daddy is the fun one. Daddy is the cool guy (who bought a kinect so they can dance around the living room in a group and pop virtual bubbles)... Mommy is the brush your teeth lady, wipe your face, get your butt back in there and use more toilet paper, disgusting, scrub your nails, dont bite your nails, why am I tripping over your shoes, how many times have I told you it is bed time, get out of bed one more time and I will.... YES this is dinner there are starving kids all over the world. I swear to God you put your dinner in the trash and I will just explode. DO NOT FEED IT TO THE DOG. Leave your sister alone. Stop smacking her. Stop biting your sister. Okay the two of you, time out..... !!!!!!!
I speak well of him to them. I say Daddy loves you ..... he really DOES love you. Dont bother your dad, hes having a nap. But oh yes come and bother me. Thanks, elbow in the boob. I cant wait until you get boobs and then I am going to get a pointy stick the width of your elbow and poke you in the boob.... :)
So we're not cool. But we're consistently there. We're the roll our eyes but go and get a glass of milk at any time of night, fold the laundry until 9pm most nights (Not lying- swimming every day, I do a ton of laundry, I always think cuz its a communal pool that they have germs all over the towels from touching the chairs)... I think my kids know theyre my priority. And thats why they want to be with me. Eldest Daughter said shes scared of her dad and shes worried he wont be able to take care of her like I can. So is she being sincere, or is this little con artist just totally pulling a fast one on me? Ironically I am more scary than her dad. He doesnt blow up often. I spit venom at least once a day. I am often referred to in the same sentence as flying monkeys.
So we're not cool. But we're consistently there. We're the roll our eyes but go and get a glass of milk at any time of night, fold the laundry until 9pm most nights (Not lying- swimming every day, I do a ton of laundry, I always think cuz its a communal pool that they have germs all over the towels from touching the chairs)... I think my kids know theyre my priority. And thats why they want to be with me. Eldest Daughter said shes scared of her dad and shes worried he wont be able to take care of her like I can. So is she being sincere, or is this little con artist just totally pulling a fast one on me? Ironically I am more scary than her dad. He doesnt blow up often. I spit venom at least once a day. I am often referred to in the same sentence as flying monkeys.
So I told him he had to apologise. I told him the bigger man would apologise. Can you believe that someone would want to have a full on argument with a six year old to the point where he wont apologise. He acted exactly the way she told me he would. He would get angry and be scary. So I just told him it is not my fault if they dont have a relationship with him. I know I work daily on mine. I mean I am getting ready for my kids to dislike me. Eldest Daughter already told me I was an ugly old granny last night. I remember calling my moms varicose veins her "corduroy pants". I mean kids are cruel. You just dont think your kids are going to reject you or break your heart. I told him hes got to be there for me for when she rejects me. You can raise them up in your own house, but you dont own them.
So I dont know what type of mom I will be. That is still a work in progress. My dad says I am too liberal. But he suffocated us and we rebelled so bad. You dont want to line them up for being teenage drunks or alcoholics. But I mean in reality theyre going to do things and wear things we dont like, just like our parents didnt like our stuff, just like our moms' parents didnt like their things... My mom says her parents hated the Stones, Elvis and the Beatles!!! Just like I have to pretend not to like Rihanna. Its not that I dont like Rihanna. Its that its inappropriate. And "inappropriate" is a whole other echelon that I am not willing to confront just yet, not without doing a lot more research....
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