she's not who you think she is. she's changed. she has become something entirely different.
Words falling through the phone into my jumbled state of consciousness. The voice belonged to my eternal optimist friend, a girl who had seen enough things first hand that she should have been hardened. And there she was concerned about my heart that she felt that I was putting too much on the line.
she has become barely unrecognizable. i think she is lost to us. i don't think that she is salvageable anymore. you must give up on her.
The words have echoed through me. Not because of their harshness, because they were like a feather pillow wrapped baseball bat, but because of their point of origin. The way my friend positioned her tongue to lightly break my heart. The way her words conveyed her sense of loss, her disappointment, as well as her first hand experience of the mayhem that has ensued.
A dear mutual friend of ours has chosen a lifestyle that is so destructive, so painful, so illogical that it has sent us reeling. I think the warning signs were there over a year ago. But I rationalized it as "not my business" and "has nothing to do with me", and "jees, you are nosy"...
I never anticipated it would resonate so deeply through us because I never imagined that what has happened in their household would be possible. She has allowed things to continue and chooses to allow them to happen, due to whatever reason, I can only assume co-dependence, financial reasons, shame, guilt, and even optimism. Hope that it will get better.
I never imagined that this person that I admire so much as a parent could allow these travesties to continue to happen IN FRONT of her numerous young children. I have failed to realize that this person by doing so has chosen the abuse and the abuser over her children. What you tolerate, you encourage. In America there are numerous help groups for women. There is no reason to stay with your tormentor...
No comments:
Post a Comment