We watch Toddlers in Tiara's on TLC with great relish. Firstly its not the kind of show you stay up to watch. You record it and on a lazy day, you grab your kiddos (my six year old loves to watch it with me) and make a bowl of popcorn and just enjoy this little glimpse into other peoples realities.
I don't think the moms are necessarily 'bad moms'... because there are far worse mothers out there. I felt awful when I saw a mom force an 18 month old (with barely any hair) to wear a hair piece, and when they put the bobby clips in it hurt the baby (the older step sister winced when the baby got hurt, but the mother didn't).... I do see the GOOD and I do see having a very driven daughter needing a way to channel her energy... I just don't think it would work in our house hold.
Last night there was an 11 year old girl Sydney who was just gorgeous and brilliant. She was "facially gifted" (real term from the show)... but they showed a clip of her doing her competition style cheering and this kid was amazing. So I can see her leading her mom a bit and giving her mom something to be excited about.
Just who are these people? How do they pay for this stuff? I mean they have boxes and boxes of $1500 frilly bedazzled dresses... fake hair, fake teeth, fake tans, kids get waxed and manicures, pedicures, professional make up artists... I mean this is way more than simply playing fancy dress. This is fancy dress on steroids.
As a South African, growing up with immense poverty right in front of you all of the time, I find excess to be perverted and disgusting. I know that necessarily my view is not the 'norm'. But in my life, for me, less is more. Everything that I buy has an intrinsic and extrinsic value attached to it. Is this item useful. Can it be used many times by many different people? Who can I give it to when I am done with it?
I dress my kids well, they both have their 'own things' and their 'special' things, but they're not overly provided with things that amuse them, or things that are pretty, or things that are perfect. My kids play with the garden hose. The broom. Plastic chairs in the garden. Rocks. Lizards. We try to teach them that what counts is on the inside. Its how kind you are, not when you have to be. How useful you are to society. How brave you are in the face of adversity. How sincere you can be when you could choose to be controversial or argumentative. How the only things you need in life are inside of your heart, and can never be taken from you.
So some of the things the parents say on Toddlers in Tiara's are just so weird to me. The lessons taught (and oh the kids believe every word the parents say) don't apply to the real world. Like how is pouting and pointing to your cheeks whilst wearing "Weston Wear" supposed to help you make friends, or to find a career, or to make you feel comfortable in your own skin without the glitz, hair spray, and fake eyelashes?
I mean don't get me wrong. Girls do need a sort of finishing school and guidance from their moms and families on how to dress, what works, what doesnt work, which make up and skin care products to use etc, but to dress a four year old up and to tell her shes only worthy because shes beautiful is so terrible to me.
The outside world is so shallow. Your mom especially and your family are supposed to be your sanctum of sanctums. You're supposed to be able to be who you are supposed to be, without pageant coaching, within the safety of your home.
So in my house, we applaud inner beauty, good decisions, thinking things through. We applaud Christ like qualities. I truly think that is what counts. And not how many trophies and crowns you can stick on your kids bedroom wall.
The sum of my family is this: That they love the Lord. Nothing else matters.
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